Has it been five years already?

Today it has been five years since Publius and I got married. And so I think this is an appropriate time to tell you all the story of how we met. Those who know us in real life can skip it, but everyone else should know that this story is popular all over the globe in at least two languages.

November 3, 1989. Sophomore year of high school. High school debate tournament. Anyone who reads Publius' blog knows why he was on his school's debate team. I was on my school's team because 1) I was a nerd who pretty much joined any academic club, and 2) the sex ratio made it seem like a good way to meet boys. Anyway, my friend W and I were partners. We weren't very good but it didn't really matter to us. We debated against Publius and his partner, and lost but had a good time doing so. Publius was pretty proud of himself and also pretty much in love with me by the end of the round. It was mutual, I must say. We chatted a bit at the end of the tournament and had to be pulled away by our friends with a promise to see each other at the next tournament.

Turned out my high school wasn't participating in the next tournament. Damn. But I went anyway, ostensibly to watch & learn but really to go see Publius. He noticed that my school wasn't there and was heartbroken, but hey! I showed up. We exchanged phone numbers and addresses and began a long-distance romance (we lived about 2 hours away from each other). He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend, and it was all very intense.

Summer 1990. I turned sixteen and my long-distance boyfriend was not so fun anymore. So I pretty much broke his heart and dumped him so I could date other boys. We attempted to stay in touch, but his anger and jealousy made that rather difficult. We communicated on and off until 1994, when we were both in college and he was a woman-hating "playa" and I was a man-hating feminist taking my first women's studies class. We stopped speaking and lost touch with each other.

In 1999, several failed relationships later, I started wondering what happened to him. He was the only guy who ever seemed to get me, who loved me for who I was, the only person I ever felt like I could trust. I did a little internet stalking and discovered that, like me, he was working on his Ph.D.! He was still in the south in the same state where we both went to high school. I found his phone number and called him. I got the answering machine, and the message was a female's voice. He lived with a girl. I decided I should leave him alone.

Three or four months later, I happen to check an old Yahoo email address that I hadn't used in years. And what did I find? An email from Publius. He had looked me up and found that old address and had emailed to see if it was who he thought it was. I answered. We immediately started emailing and calling. (The girl on the answering machine was just a roommate.) We arranged for him to visit me in NYC, and when he did, it was like no time had passed at all.

At that point in time I happened to be dating some guy who was a real jerk. Publius was patient though (it had already been 10 years, after all) and sure enough, within a few months we had broken up. Then I decided that I didn't want to get together with Publius on a rebound, because I knew this would be for real, and I couldn't treat it lightly. So I went on a dating spree and went out with tons of guys (all first dates). After I while I realized the best part of every date was going home and calling Publius and telling him about my awful date. So in April of 2000 we arranged to meet in another city, and we got back together.

Six weeks later we were engaged.

And on August 11, 2001 we got married in a lovely little ceremony in the art museum on the campus of his graduate school. A year later he finally moved to New York to live with me. And now here we are.

Happy Anniversary to my husband and best friend.